Confessions of a Timid Rider,  Equestrian Life

Why Every Child Should Ride Horses


I’m an honest parent, or at the very least I try to be. Perhaps too much so at times. I’ll be honest with you, my friends- I’m not a helicopter mom.


I’m the old school- go play and use your imagination, call me if you’re bleeding- type mom. Share on X


My children are hilariously funny, smart, and keep me on my toes. I’m just of the opinion that sometimes learning who you are and who you will become, happens when you are given a chance. Keep yourself busy, make your own decisions, and make mistakes.


Every Child Should Ride Horses


My favorite time together is taking my daughters with me to the barn. When I used to do turnout and feeding, my little ones would help me sweep the aisles, hay the horses, or even clean tack (their choice!). They girls would have plenty of time to play with the ponies or run around an empty ring pretending to jump fences as ponies themselves. But they have a strong work ethic and needed little incentive to contribute to barn chores. Often it was their own idea.


Barn rat homework
Barn rats do homework with horses.


Hay is for horses, not little girls.
Hay is for horses, not little girls.


My oldest daughter has been riding horses since she was 4 years old at a local therapeutic riding center. She is tough, confident, and fearless. So basically everything that I am not as a rider. Does my Confessions of a Timid Rider series ring a bell? I cannot say that she wasn’t any of those things before she started riding- but it has helped to shape her into a well-rounded child that I hope will maintain that confidence and sense of self through her teen years.


After all, how intimidated will she be by mean girls when she is used to being assertive with a 1500 lb. animal who is feeling stubborn? She tells me that she wants to be a jumper, which is terrifying. She challenges herself every day and you know what? She’ll rock at it because she refuses not to be awesome. 


My eldest daughter wins a blue ribbon at her horse show!
My eldest daughter wins a blue ribbon at her horse show!


In May of this year, my 6-year old twins started taking riding lessons. For those of you who think that I pushed my hobby on them- stop right there.


The twins have been begging me for three years to take riding lessons and I put them off. I would distract them and say, “Let’s try dance”, “Let’s try gymnastics”, or “Let’s try soccer”. As much as I love horses, it is an expensive hobby and I knew they would gravitate to it one day. 


Who can put a price on passion?


At the end of the day, I wish I started riding when I was 6 years old. It may not have changed my anxiety to be the best possible rider I can be, but all the things I’m learning now as an adult would have been that much better when I was young.

Riding Horses Teaches Children Important Life Lessons


This should be a no-brainer. For those of you who think the horse does all the work, I suggest you mount up because you’ve probably done nothing more than a pony ride. Horse riding takes muscle, primarily your core and your legs. Quiet seat, quiet hands, and an effective leg mean muscle control and strength. Riding builds muscle and further it provides a cardio workout. Anyone who has ever collected their canter while doing circles has gotten a little winded- don’t try and lie. I can tell what shape I’m in by how many loops around the ring I can do without stopping to catch my breathe- hint: it’s not a lot.

Get Outside

Delight contemplates his beautiful paddock.
Delight contemplates his beautiful paddock.


Do you ever stare at your child on their phone, tablet, or watching tv and see a zombie? Growing up as I did in the 70’s, I would spend the entire day outside and only come home after dark. That’s different today with technology. Riding horses is an amazing way to get outside and spend time experiencing nature. Fresh air!



Every child should ride horses

You have to rely on each other. Horses will test you. They will get away with whatever they can and so you have to be confident and quiet.You can’t be loud, obnoxious, and throw a temper tantrum when things are not going your way. Your ask nicely. Consistent but firm. You learn to work together.


Patience with your horse, but most of all patience with yourself. Giving yourself the room to make mistakes, understand what you are doing that isn’t working, and making it better. My trainer never lets me end a lesson until we do something well. Always end on a good note. You know what? Each time I get just a little bit better. There is nothing more satisfying than a job well done.


My daughter watches the riders at Jersey Fresh International.
My daughter watches the riders at Jersey Fresh International.


Equestrians never stop learning. The best riders in the world have trainers. Every horse has something to teach us. Every ride is different, every horse is different. If you have read my Confessions of a Timid Rider then you know that what we bring to the barn from our personal lives, affect us. The more practice my daughters have, the better riders they become. And they learn that hard work is necessary for success. In order to succeed you need to work hard.


How to Fall

It’s a fact of horseback riding that falling is inevitable. I do not look forward to their first fall. I’m cringing even thinking about it. I have a house full of drama queens. (As I write this my 6 year old is hysterical because she scraped her knee on the driveway. For 20 minutes she has been sobbing, screaming, and scooting across the floor because she doesn’t want to put weight on it. There isn’t even blood. You would think she’d broken a vital appendage).


I’ve fallen many times over the years. Some falls were unavoidable and others were because I wasn’t balanced. In the last two years I haven’t fallen at all. I guess I’m due. The important thing is knowing how to fall safely.


My funniest fall is when my girth loosened during a horse show as I was transitioning down from the canter. I called, “Hold Up”, and started slipping. I moved my horse out of the way and proceeded to slide steadily butt first onto the ground. Thankfully it was a schooling show. The judge actually gave me points for a graceful landing and because I stood up and bowed afterward. Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.


In our lives, embarrassing or bad things happen. It’s a fact. How my children deal with disappointment is vital to their success.

How to Get Back Up Again

There is a well known saying “Get back on the horse”. Falls can be scary. Your adrenaline kicks in and all you think is protect your head and get away from the hooves. But, scarier than the fall itself is the prospect of getting back on. Because you do not want to fall again. If you let the fear build up in your head then you psych yourself out.


My children need to learn that just because you fall doesn’t mean you can quit. Sometimes things happen that we don’t like or we don’t expect- but we have to keep going.



Steady gets some attention from my little ladies.
Steady gets some attention from my little ladies.


Compassion is something that is extremely important to me. I want to raise my children to think of others and not focus so much on their own wants and needs. Narcissism is rampant in the world today. Riding horses is such a beautiful way for a barn rat to learn compassion. Equestrians learn very early that you must groom, tack, pick up manure, [ride], untack, brush down, and thank your horse. Riding is just a small part of horsemanship, although it’s one most people focus on.


Years ago I was on a trail ride with my business partner and trainer. We took our horses through the field and up into the woods. Almost as soon as we entered the woods, my horse Chico, started to rear a little. We were in the back and I called to my trainer. Something just wasn’t right. We turned around and I took up the back again.


By this time the horses were all acting weird. When my trainer got to the edge of the field her horse bolted. Robin jumped off, grabbed the reins, and called for us all to dismount. Danelle jumped off and her horse, Beach Boy, took off. Chico stayed with me until I jumped off. The second I left his back he bolted. The force of it pushed me off balance and I landed on my back hard. It was an awkward fall but I protected my head.


Getting up, I dusted myself off, and went to find my horse. There was no time for coddling myself. Heart racing, I felt something painful and realized I was covered in adolescent yellow jackets.


The entire time my horse was warning us and getting stung. The horses waited until we were safely off before running away. Something I did as well the second I realized I’d fallen in the nest. You can imagine how comical it was for my trainer to follow me running across the field and hitting me with a riding crop to remove the wasps.


The thing is, I was stung 7 times. I was shaking, adrenaline pumping, and fearful of an allergic reaction. Did I leave? No. We went and tracked down our scared horses. We hand walked them all the way back to the barn. Then we washed them down, removed the stingers, and treated their wounds. I didn’t have medical help until at least 1 hour and a half later.


The moral of the story is that equestrians take care of their horses. End of story. I will admit that getting back on a horse a few days later was scary. Our horses were not in the position to be remounted either physically or emotionally after their wasp interaction.

Let your passion be greater than your fear- Heather Wallace Share on X


Focusing on the moment.
Focusing on the moment.


When I care about something, I want to succeed. I work hard to be better. I am hard on myself because I know what I am capable of in life. So when I don’t perform to my expectations, I lose confidence in myself.


Overall, riding horses has given me confidence I didn’t have before. I have my down moments, sure. However, I know that I can handle situations that used to make me run in the other direction. Working with a 6-year old off-track thoroughbred (OTTB) is a challenge that is making me a better rider. And I welcome it.


My children have the opportunity to work alongside these amazing animals. Horses have a lot to teach us about ourselves. To earn their trust and respect, is something special.



Horses are a lot of fun on the ground too! What is more fun than riding a horse? Pretending to be one yourself.

Let’s not forget that riding horses is a whole lot of fun. My youngest was nervous to ride her first lesson, but even though she was a bit tense, she had a huge grin on her face the entire time. The second she dismounted she asked when her next lesson was. It’s hard to put into words the feeling riding a horse gives you.


Everyone should experience it at least once. It’s not for everyone, but there is nothing else like it in the world. I’m so glad that my daughter’s can experience the same feeling I do.


A Parent’s Final Thought

Riding horses has taught me so many things. It’s taught me patience, humility, strength, empathy, and determination. Most of all, riding horses has taught me to fight for what makes me happy. My passion does not always end in a great day, and still causes me anxiety from time to time. But the good outweighs the bad. When I get on a horse, everything else is less important for a time. My head clears, and my endorphins kick in. Where even two years ago I would panic at being bucked, I now laugh and try to understand what I did to cause that reaction.


I want my children to get their hands dirty. To not be afraid to assert themselves with confidence. I am proud that my daughters share my passion for animals. Who knows how long they will ride? What matters is that they fought for a chance to ride horses, they worked hard to earn their lessons, and they are having fun. Will they decide to follow a different path? That’s their decision. The lessons they are learning now will be what makes them amazing adults that I will respect. Here’s hoping anyway.  


After all, I want my children to know that if they want to be successful human beings they need to do at least three things: ask politely, work together, and keep moving forward.

What have animals taught you?


  • Amy Hempe

    I also recently had a loose girth fall. It was really funny as it happened right after my horse farted. Anyway, I agree with this 100%. I was not a confident rider but am focusing on remedying this as an adult. I think more responsibility around the horses gives more confidence.

    • Heather Wallace

      That is hilarious! The fart not the fall of course. The things we deal with to spend time with horses. And I completely agree with you. The more time I spend with horses the more comfortable I feel, and less I react. Although I still have my moments. I know you’ll get there.

  • Sophie Tunnah

    I can remember where, but I read a great blog a while ago about how to keep children entertained at the yard AND get them to do the jobs! It was a great way of turning chores into fun & games!

  • Beth

    I think it is wonderful that your kids love to ride. I hoped one of my kids would want to ride horses, but none of them did. I’m sure if they were around horses, that at least one of them would have wanted to try riding.

    • Heather Wallace

      It is definitely a case of having it close to home. I spend a few days a week at barns between riding and work, so they are familiar there as anywhere else. We’re lucky to have so many horses in close proximity.

  • Shayla

    I so envy your ability to provide this to your girls! I couldn’t agree more, every child should learn, or at the very least experience it while they are young. Your girls are very lucky! ❤️

  • Rachel

    This is such a great post! My favorite section – COMPASSION! Something we need more of in this world. I love that your daughters got into riding so young. I’ve never truly ridden a horse, and I really want to. My sister went to an elementary school that had them riding horses as a class. What a great opportunity for her. Oh yeah, and I loved that you bowed after falling gracefully off your horse!

    • Heather Wallace

      Ha ha yes my greatest strength is the ability to laugh at myself! It made for a good memory anyway. 🙂 I think compassion is missing in a lot of the world today. All I can do is show my daughters by example. I would have loved to ride so young and to take a class in elementary school!

  • The Daily Pip

    Absolutely agree with your philosophy on parenting. I love the learning to fall and get back up again philosophy and the “not being afraid of mean girls when you have dealt with a stubborn 1,500 pound horse”. That’s pretty great.

    • Heather Wallace

      Thank you so much! As a parent I tend to doubt myself often and wonder if I’m making the right choices. But watching my girls grow and care for animals makes me think I’m on the right track!

  • raisingyourpetsnaturally

    I road every week when I was young. I did fall, landed on my back and did get up! I also road in a group/line at camp and the pony behind mine, bit my pony’s butt. Not fun. lol

    • Heather Wallace

      Sounds very memorable! I couldn’t tell you how many times there have been instances with ponies kicking or biting because another horse got too close. You learn very quickly to provide space in between.

  • Cathy Armato

    I love your philosophy of teaching your kids to respect their animal and to be confident. I love riding so much as a child and wished I could have done so much more of it. I love your yellow jack story, that is incredible! What is it about yellow jacks & stables – they seem to always be hanging around there. Wonderful post, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
    Love & Biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them

    • Heather Wallace

      Thanks Cathy! There is always something interesting going on at barns so it certainly makes for an interesting life. The yellow jackets are basically why I created my insect repellent. 🙁 Thanks for commenting!

  • Ruth Epstein

    I think that kids should be able to have access to all animals and it depends on finances etc as to what they can do, I rode a horse for the first time when I exited Petra in Jordan because that is the way you do it but it was my first time on a horse and I have never felt that I missed out on anything as I have done so much in my life and experienced a lot in other ways. Educating kids with animals can be any animal as each has its own trait.

    • Heather Wallace

      I absolutely agree with you that all animals have something to teach us, not just horses. My girls are growing up around dogs and spend quality time with them every day, which was a big priority for me.

  • Jodi Chick

    I didn’t ride as a kid, but my husband and I had horses in my 20s and I loved every minute of it. You made me laugh with your mean girls/stubborn horse comment. I can tell you I absolutely felt more victimized by our stubborn, headstrong yearling than any girl in high school ever made me feel. LOL great post.

  • Sweet Purrfections

    I’ve told you before I used to ride as a child. We had a friend that lived on a farm and had horses so we always begged our parents to go there so we could ride. I wish I there were more opportunities to ride then and now. I’ve allowed myself to get so out of shape that I can’t even get on a horse because my leg muscles aren’t strong.

    • Heather Wallace

      I bet Truffle and Brulee keep you a little bit in shape! Truthfully I could use with some conditioning myself and have been meaning to hit the gym so I can become a better rider. Problem is that I absolutely hate the gym. Ugh.

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