The Comeback

Surprise, I’m back my friends. No promises, but I’m going to try writing more regularly because dammit- it makes me happy. The reality is, my life is chaos in real time. 

But you’re probably an adult amateur, so you get it. I am definitely not the only one. 

For me, it was this pesky thing called separation and divorce. I spent most of 2024 and 2025 navigating the ups and downs of dissolving a 20+ year relationship with the father of my children. 

No matter how well we mediated between us and the lawyers, there are bound to be heightened emotions and a whole lot of uncertainty. Uncertainty for me, especially, as I’m not the breadwinner of the family. I’ve never been more terrified. As somehow who has struggled with letting go of control in situations, this was a true test and learning opportunity.

• How will I afford to live?
• Where will I live? 
• Can I even keep the horses? 
• Will my children be okay? 

The anxiety was debilitating and the complete transformation of my inner and outer world made it so that I was burned out and unable to do anything creative. I didn’t have the bandwidth. 

I’ve been living on my own since September. I found the most perfect little house about 20 minutes from where my married house was, and the kids were able to stay in the same school thankfully, That was so important to me. 

• I learned how to build furniture (ahem, very badly) and since hired a handyman to step in when I’m over my head. 
• I have a beautiful garden with a hammock, which you’ll find me in most mornings or evenings depending on the ambient temperature. 
• I lost my heart dog in November, thankfully before the harshest of all winters. He was just shy of 14 and told me he was ready. 

Somehow, I’ve scraped by and kept the horses even though I’m working so much that I don’t have any actual time to be at the barn or ride them. It certainly didn’t help the barn moved farther away in the spring of 2024, amidst my own turmoil. But Ferrous and Delight are happy, if not completely bored. 

My children seem to love their new environment and sharing custody of them and my remaining two dogs means that some of the week is loud, boisterous, and full of activities, while the other half is me working late and going to bed early. I still haven’t figured out that pesky work/life balance thing but I’m getting closer. Occasionally, I’ll attend a concert or take myself out on a solo date to a restaurant where my only company is a good book. It’s very freeing.

The silence in the house has been lovely but it feels empty without any animals. So, when a barn cat at a client facility had unexpected kittens, I volunteered to take a bonded pair. They are a joy in my life and I’m so in love with them. 

Slowly, I’m coming back to life after what feels like years of disassociation and emotional guarding. Chaos can be so uncomfortable but it finally feels like I’m coming out of this period. Dare I say, that I am finding peace again? 

A safe, warm home; small furry babies that immediately make me smile; and children that are in a loving, home where they can talk to me about anything and everything. I am so grateful to have come out the other side, somehow stronger and more appreciative for every moment. As a result, I’m actually wanting to write again and come out of Hermit mode. 

Here I am world. Different but hopefully improved in all aspects, and ready for what comes next. I expect that means more books to write!