Confession: I’ve been missing in action from the barn for a good reason.
Ferrous has been mine for three full months and sometimes I feel like I’m failing at being a horse owner. For those of you who know me you may be unsurprised at my attitude. To new readers, welcome! I’ll explain- I’m passionate about horses. As a result I’m extremely hard on myself. I hold myself to an extremely high standard that I can never measure up to in life. Can you relate?
I know that I’m being harsh. Truthfully, Ferrous is happy, healthy, and living the good life at his barn on luscious property. But between snow, freezing rain, work, and personal issues I have not had much time at the barn. In the last three weeks I’ve ridden perhaps 5 times, and they were abbreviated at best. Certainly not enough to really keep either of us happy or in shape. Even my barn owner and trainer commented on me missing-in-action. Not in a bad way, but in a “wow we’re used to seeing more of you, hope all is well” way.
There has been days I’ve intended to ride but it was cut short by an important phone call with a publisher, a deadline, or preparing for my Table Topic at BlogPaws April 18-20th in Kansas City, Missouri. Lots of amazing things of course.
Unfortunately I have also been dealing with some hard things as well- namely the closing of my animal bodywork business, Bridle & Bone Wellness, of which I was partner. Without going into unnecessary detail, there are a lot of ins and outs to legally closing a business that I helped create over two years. Then there is the emotional part of it which is hardest to handle. The feeling of failing. The “what could I do better?” question that hangs over your head.
I tend to be optimistic 85% of the time in life. But even I have bad days now and I again. I do not believe in coincidence. Everything happens for a reason and I know that this was a huge learning lesson. I’ve grown so much in the last two years and I don’t regret a moment. Yes, there are some things I would have changed, but everything I learned and did has helped me to grow.
So you will see changes to the website because all business information has been removed. The Bridle & Bone blog, however, remains unchanged and I am so excited to be a finalist for the “Best Beyond Paws” Pet Blog that will be announced in April at an glittering, live-streamed, awards ceremony.
Nothing will stop me from doing what I love. I’m starting over on a new entrepreneurial journey under my own name. I’m excited and have high hopes for the future.
Now if I could only spend more time at the barn! Now that this is finalized and the weather warms, I will spend more time in my favorite place. Today was my first lesson in weeks and boy did I need it. No rushing, just time spent with my unicorn and working on exercises to frame up and build his top line properly. I can tell you that my core muscles were working too! The rain stopped and my daughters on spring break had the chance to run around the barn unfettered and free.
I hate that Ferrous and my riding has taken a back seat recently and really want to refocus. But I told my trainer that I want to get over my horse show anxiety. To give myself and Ferrous a goal I’ve decided that I will work toward attending a schooling show at my barn on the flat. Baby steps. Just barn friends and family, familiar horses, and fun. No big deal, but I’m already panicking.
What’s life without a little challenge?