Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough?
Confessions of a Timid Rider is the award-winning memoir detailing Heather Wallace’s insights about being an anxiety-ridden but passionate equestrian. After returning to riding as a mother, she is determined to follow her dreams in spite of the fear that she is somehow lacking in talent or ability. An in-depth look into the heart and head of a returning adult equestrian, this memoir is not limited to those people with horse experience. In fact, Confessions of a Timid Rider is the perfect book to read for anyone who questions their value and worth in their designated profession or life choice. Motivational and inspirational, this book will make you determined to pursue your dreams despite the inner voice that says you aren’t good enough.
Winner of the 2018 Equus Film Festival WINNIE award for Best Non-Fiction English, and #1 Hot New Release on Amazon. A bestseller in three Amazon categories.
As I plunge toward the ground, I see the face of my horse above me blocking the sun. For that split second before I hit the rain-packed ground I close my eyes I think to myself, “Avoid the hooves”.
This moment was one I dreaded since I became a mother. The thought of falling off and hurting myself in front of my children was something that plagued my nightmares and caused anxiety.
A few months ago, I had a near miss. Delight and I were in our weekly lesson at the barn. We came in a little too slow to the cross rail. Delight lost his balance, tripping over the rail, and we both started to fall.
In slow motion, I can still see Delight’s nose touch the ground. I slipped slowly down his neck, clinging for dear life. All I thought in that moment was if I topple over his head, he might become more unbalanced and land on me. So I slowly picked myself up and scooted back, lifting Delight’s large thoroughbred head up to help him regain his balance.
We were okay. That time. But I was shaken. I did not fall. Delight did not fall. We regained our balance, no one was hurt, and nothing bad happened. But I kept replaying the scene in my mind. The WHAT IF factor. The image became stuck in my head for the rest of our lesson and I could not let it go.
“GET OVER IT”.
I hear it frequently during lessons. My trainer sees that I am no longer connected to my horse. I am absent. Now too much in my own head.
It’s a chronic problem. My entire life I have been very cerebral, balancing ideas and considering outcomes. Horse riding has been a way for me to escape my own brain, or try to at least. Warring between self-doubt and my passion for horses.
I’ve been called many things, but “timid” never in my memory. Perhaps in a way this will show you just how important horses are to me in my life. Because this matters. Horses matter. And as a result, I want to be the best I can be. Sadly, this results in self doubt and delayed progress. I am my own worst enemy.
These are the confessions of a timid rider.