Do You Have Pony Envy?
Confessions of a Timid Rider,  Equestrian Life

Do You Have Pony Envy?

Confessions of a Timid Rider: I Am Jealous of My Friends with Horses

 

Friends, I’ll be honest with you. I believe I’m a nice person. I try my best to help others and be a good friend. So the fact that I have become green-eye with jealousy is something of which I’m not proud.

 

Every single time one of my barn family gets a new pony or horse, I am so happy for them. Truly. At the same time a part of me dies a little inside of envy. Because I want what they have.

 

I am embarrassed to admit it. Today a friend, a fellow horse lover, reached out to me for advice on buying her first horse. I have never bought a horse but she wanted my opinion on a particular animal because I know her skill and comfort level.

Do You Have Pony Envy?

 

My first reaction was excitement for her. She deserves a horse, she’d treat him well, and this horse would have an amazing life. But my second reaction was envy. Because this also serves as a reminder that I have not yet fulfilled my own dreams of horse ownership.

 

Logically I know that for her full board, lessons, and shoes cost exactly HALF of what I would pay in my area. But it’s a dream we shared together. She’s closer to seeing this dream come true, and I’m still working toward it. Thus, the pit in my stomach.

 

Why is it so important that I own a horse? To me, it has been a lifelong dream. Animals have been a constant in my life for so long, and a huge source of comfort and happiness. I do not go to church. I am not in therapy. Spending time with horses at the barn is what gives me solace.

 

I am blessed that I am able to spend time with animals. But I would like the freedom to work with a horse for years, building a bond, and a level of trust. To have the freedom to do groundwork, or go on a trail, or simply spend some time playing in the paddock.

 

I confessed and told her that I was losing hope that I would ever have my own horse.

 

Have you ever wanted something so badly?

10 Comments

  • Mathilde Kvernland

    Just hang in there! I was full of envy up until the day I bought my boy, soon 2 years ago. I had many friends who weren’t that into horses who actually bought, and it ended up being me riding them because they were bored. And I was constantly wondering why life would give all it’s lemons to me and not to the ones who I believed didn’t deserve it. Owning a horse is the best feeling in the world, it gives me so much security around having my best friend forever. I hope your dreams become reality too.

  • Selkie

    Ugh I can definitely say I’m in the same boat. My friend just got a horse and it’s been both of our lifelong dreams. I’m SO happy for her because I know he’ll be loved so much, but I still can’t help but feel that pit in my stomach because that’s something that I’ve wanted for so long. And then there’s the fact that she doesn’t have a lot at all, like almost nothing. She didn’t start out with the blessings I had and that makes me feel so much worse because I know she’s gotten what she finally wanted yet I’m still jealous! I don’t consider myself a bad person. I always help people out and advise people when they ask me for another opinion. I’m kind to people because I love them. Feeling pony envy towards my best friend makes me feel like complete trash.

    • Heather Wallace

      You are definitely not trash! I think it’s a completely normal reaction and feeling. It’s not like you wish she DIDN”T have the horse after all. When the time is right it will be your turn too. 🙂

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